Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know I’m late getting this posted. It’s all my fault. Val had all her ducks in a row and was ready to go. My ducks, on the other hand, were waddling around all over the damn place. Quack, quack.
Here’s what we thought about a ducky week 3…
Atlanta (56), Tampa Bay (14) – Poor Lovie Smith (Bucs HC). Kinda sad how beat up the Bucs are considering it’s only week 3. Josh McCown (Bucs QB) got hurt and last year’s starter Mike Glennon came in to finish the game. The Falcons looked so good, but the Bucs were just so bad. Devin Hester (Falcons WR) and Deion Sanders had an emotional man moment after the game, as a result of Hester breaking Sanders’ all-time touchdown return record. (M)
San Diego (22), Buffalo (10) – Bills lost their first game of the year. Philip Rivers (Chargers QB) was on fire! He connected with his receivers on six plays of more than 20 yards and finished with a season-high passer rating of 131.4 (Learning moment: A passer rating is a calculation that reflects quarterback performance. It utilizes a scale of 0 to 158.3. We’ll have more on this in a future post.) Unfortunately, San Diego is now having running back issues. Danny Woodhead (Chargers RB, looks like a hobbit) was carted off the field and subsequently placed on season-ending IR. Ryan Matthews (Chargers RB) was already out and is not expected back for another 4 weeks. (V)
Cincinnati (33), Tennessee (7) – Titans were never in this one. Cincy’s defense was just too good and the Titans hurt themselves with missed field goals and a safety (2pts as a result of a ball carrier being tackled in their own end zone) during a punt attempt. Hue Jackson (Bengals OC) has the Bengals offense humming. Mohamed Sanu (Bengals WR), the kid who threw and caught 50+yd passes in the last game, threw a touchdown to Andy Dalton (Bengals QB). Yes, a wide receiver threw a touchdown to a quarterback. A.J. Green (Bengals WR) was back from injury and looked good with more than 100 yards receiving. (V)
Baltimore (23), Cleveland (21) – The poor, poor Browns. The game came down to the last few minutes for the third week in the row, but Baltimore managed to eek out a win with a field goal. Dennis Pitta (Ravens TE) reinjured his hip and is out for the rest of the reason. This game was all about the running backs. Baltimore’s run game looked good without their original starters (Ray Rice and Bernard Pierce). Cleveland’s run game also looked good. (V)
Detroit (19), Green Bay (7) – Lions defense keep Rodgers and the Packers in check. The Pack couldn’t get a run game going. Their offensive line didn’t do their job. Rodgers couldn’t find open receivers and got flustered. You could say it was a rough day for them. Matt Stafford (Lions QB) didn’t have a great game (he had 3 turnovers), but the in the end, the Lions defense stepped it up and got the win.
Detroit linebacker Stephen Tulloch tore his ACL and is out for the season after celebrating a sack of Aaron Rodgers (Packers QB) with a discount double-check.
When asked about the incident, Tulloch responded, “Unfortunately, I got up in celebration and it happened. But I ain’t embarrassed by nothing. We all celebrate when we make a play.” Following the statement, numerous English teachers had heart palpitations. (M)
Indianapolis (44), Jacksonville (17) – The poor, poor Jaguars. Chad Henne (Jaguars QB) was pulled from the game to be replaced by rookie QB Blake Bortles, who will start next week. I wish the kid luck because I would not want to be standing behind that o-line. Brace yourself, my friend. Jags defense couldn’t stop Andrew Luck (Colts QB) and the score would have been worse if the Colts didn’t have a few red zone (the 20 yards before the end zone) issues. (M)
New England (16), Oakland (9) – This game was actually pretty boring. Pats offense needs to be locked in a room and forced to sing kumbaya until they get their stuff together because 16 points isn’t going to cut it against better teams.
Here’s a fun fact for the week, courtesy of Field Yates – Did you know the Patriots last 2 interceptions have come from players who combine to weigh 615 pounds?
Here’s another fun fact – Every single point in the game was scored by a “-kowski.” That would be Sebastian Janikowski (Raiders Kicker), Stephen Gostkowski (Pats Kicker), and Rob Gronkowski (Pats TE). (M)
New Orleans (20), Minnesota (9) – Poor, poor Matt Cassel (Vikings QB). He fractured his foot and is now out for the rest of the season. Step on up, Mr. Teddy Bridgewater, the rookie who will be the Vikings’ starter next week. Good news for the Vikings is that their defense held the Saints relatively in check. The Saints really missed Mark Ingram (RB), who broke his hand. (V)
New York Giants (30), Houston (17) – After sucking the last two weeks, the Giants finally got their act together. Victor Cruz (Giants WR) and Rashad Jennings (Giants RB) made some big plays. Alfred Blue (Texans RB) stepped it up, filling in for the injured Arian Foster (Texans RB). Sometimes Ryan Fitzpatrick (Texans QB) looks good, sometimes he doesn’t. This week, he did not. For your weekly dose of J.J. Watt, word on the street is that he’s the only reason the Giants didn’t score more points. (V)
Philadelphia (37), Washington (34) – What a game! Captain Kirk (Kirk Cousins, Washington QB) threw for 427 yards, which is a lot, and showed some really good decision-making. If he keeps it up, there will be drama when/if RG3 comes back. It wasn’t Captain Kirk’s fault they lost. You can blame Washington’s special teams for that. Desean Jackson (Washington WR), who played in Philly last year, put up some good numbers and also got in a small tussle. There was another tussle that resulted in a player from each team getting ejected. Foles (Eagles QB) looked better, and Jeremy Maclin (Eagles WR) had a great game, after missing last season with an ACL injury. Eagles rookie WR Jordan Matthews looked bangin’ and has been picked up in fantasy leagues everywhere. (V)
Dallas (34), St. Louis (31) – Cowboys came back from a 21-0 deficit to win. The Rams had lots of chances to win, but made a stupid decision on a 4th down and had a drop in the end zone. DeMarco Murray (Cowboys RB) leads the league in rushing, as this was his third game that he went over 100 yards. For a third-string quarterback, Austin Davis isn’t doing too poorly for the Rams. (M)
Arizona (23), San Francisco (14) – Cardinals remain undefeated and sit atop the NFC West. 9ers started off strong, but couldn’t finish the game. Kaepernick (49ers QB) missed the injured Vernon Davis (TE). Here’s a fun fact – The Niners have been outscored 52-3 in the second half this season. Here’s another fun fact – Arizona blocked their 17th field goal since 2008 in this game. They’re apparently really good at blocking field goals. (V)
Kansas City (34), Miami (15) – Chiefs’ first win of the season. This is impressive considering they didn’t have RB Jamaal Charles. Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins QB) couldn’t hold his own at home and struggled with the deep ball. Don’t worry, Ryan – you’re still doing a better job than I would! (M)
Seattle (26), Denver (20) – It’s a shame the Super Bowl didn’t look more like the last quarter of this game. The Broncos managed to tie the game with less than 20 seconds left, forcing overtime. Denver’s run game didn’t exist. Their defense was good. It allowed the Broncos to have a chance at even coming back, but they just couldn’t make the stops in overtime. Peyton was apparently throwing some “ducks” again. Quack, quack. (V)
Pittsburgh (37), Carolina (19) – What team was wearing black and gold in this game? Couldn’t have been the same Steelers that got their butts handed to them in Baltimore last week. The Steelers put up 37 points on the road against one of the best defenses. Cam Newton (Panther QB) took a lot of hits, which is not good coming off ankle surgery and a rib injury from the preseason. He was replaced by Derek Anderson when the game was out of reach.
Did you hear that James Harrison (Steelers LB) came out of retirement to help the injured Steelers’ defense? The one smiling in the selfie is Coach Tomlin. The one who looks like he wants to bring the pain is James Harrison. (M)
Chicago (27), New York Jets (19) – If you were to Google image “shoot yourself in the foot,” a picture of the Jets should come up. Granted, there were some bad calls against them in the game, but you can’t really expect me to feel sorry for them. (M)
– Val and Michelle