How to Survive the Super Bowl: A Non-Football Lover’s Guide

How to Survive the Big Game Super Bowl Guide

Your guest list has been solidified, you’ve got chicken wings in the oven, and you’ve made your last-minute run to the liquor store.  The day of the Super Bowl has arrived.

If your team is playing, you’ve got your favorite jersey and the Pepto Bismol at the ready. If your team isn’t making an appearance, you’ve decided which team would be the lesser of two evils to lift the Lombardi trophy. If you aren’t a football fan, chances are that you will still turn on your TV at some point and partake in what should have been declared a national holiday years ago.

Super Bowl Sunday has a lot to offer, whether or not you keep up with the league during the regular season. There are the obvious things – the food, the half-time performance, and the commercials. So what if you’re not a fan, but you want to get more out of your evening than just buffalo chicken dip and Katy Perry’s song selections?

We had a request from one of our followers to make a Super Bowl watching guide for the non-football lover. We aim to please here on The Snap, so today we’re giving you some quick tips and tricks to get through the big game if you aren’t as NFL-obsessed as we are.

Here is our Non-Football Lover’s Guide to Surviving the Super Bowl:

1. Refresh your understanding of basic football concepts. We highly recommend our What the Hell is a Down? post. If you understand the concept of a down, you can follow a football game at the highest level.

2. Pick one player and learn about them. You don’t need to know all the players. You just need to pick one player and remember his number so you can identify him when he takes the field. Some pre-game Googling will give you some fun facts to discuss with your fellow game-watchers. How do you choose? If giving back is important to you, search for the team’s Walter Payton Man of the Year Award nominee. If stats are important to you, search for the player that got the most touchdowns or yards during the season. Want someone who is easy to recognize? Acquaint yourself with the quarterback or the kicker. Knowing off-the-field stories about a player helps you build a personal connection to a players and hopefully become more invested in the game.

3. Listen to what the commentators are saying. We know sometimes it’s hard to hear the guys doing the play-by-play and the commentary during the game if you’re in a party environment with lots of people. However, these guys are paid big bucks to be able to interpret what’s happening on the field. If they say something you don’t understand, start up a conversation with your fellow game-watchers and ask them to explain.

This year’s game is on NBC, which means that Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth will be in the booth. Al will be doing the play-by-play (“It’s 1st and 10 with the ball on the 30 yard line”) and Cris will be doing the commentary (“Earlier this year, the Patriots dealt with problems on the offensive line”).

4. Know who won NFL Honors. A few years ago, the NFL decided to make a night out of announcing annual football awards. It is usually broadcast the night before the Super Bowl. We enjoy it because the opening monologue is usually pretty funny and we get to see players dressed all snazzy and such.

These are the 2015 NFL Honors winners. If there are too many names there, we recommend knowing the following winners: 1) MVP, 2) Offensive Player of the Year, 3) Defensive Player of the Year, and the 4) Walter Payton Man of the Year.

5. If all else fails, enjoy the eye-candy. Buzzfeed had the right idea with this post ranking the butts of all the players in this year’s big game. (We don’t necessarily agree with all of their rankings. There is clearly some bias against Patriots.) Maybe this qualifies as objectifying male athletes, but if we have to sit through numerous commercials with busty scantily-clad women, then we are within our rights to admire the results of rigorous athletic training.

Enjoy the game!

– Michelle and Val

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